We are Worthy of More

I have a confession… this newsletter was finished with haste & published later than anticipated. Here are 3 reasons why:

1. I procrastinated like crazy — I had my first panic attack in 2 years last week. With my mega tea in hand, I was finally in a slightly better head space this afternoon, but my brain kept finding other things to obsess over (namely doom scrolling & a video podcast called Shxts N Gigs, but that’s neither here nor there) instead of making sure I could follow-through on my promise to send subscribers a newsletter every Sunday at 7pm. I am trying to give myself grace as I hit send on this 2 hours late but please consider this my deepest apology while I also try to be content with what I was able to produce & share with you this week.

2. I was dealing with a classic case of imposter syndrome — Imposter syndrome feels like a buzz-phrase at this point, but it is definitely one of the big reasons why I was hesitant to send this week’s newsletter out, let alone even attempt to write on the topic of abundance. Another confession: I was truly only determined to write on the topic of abundance this week because it’s the third week & the third tea on my November menu of tea kits is called “Abundance Energy Tea” & so far I’ve written each newsletter in correspondence with the menu, but I was not feeling particularly abundant this week (with bills & rent overdue & financial consequences looming in my personal life). It would have urked the crap out of me to have broken more than one rule I created for myself (in this completely made up thing of mine) so alas, I write on.

3. I am trying to push myself to lean into rawness & reality — My reality is not all spiritual enlightenment & ‘aha’ moments of clarity: I’m a 27 year old college grad with about $75,000 of debt who has to wait till she gets paid each week to buy groceries & struggles daily to navigate the world with bipolar depression, autism, and ADHD. But my reality is also not all gloom & doom: I have a boyfriend who supports me in every way possible & loves me unconditionally (& I with him), a family I know who loves me (even though they’ve been a heavy source of some of my most recent trauma & mental anguish), & a community of people I’ve met while behind the bar at the nutrition clubs who pour into me every single day & push me to be the best version of myself in tremendous ways. I’m hoping to reveal the raw reality of my life & my story bit by bit & to keep coming back to the computer screen, without fail, to write to you honestly each week.